Haunted by Past Actions…

A few weeks ago I went to the medical center. The lady behind the reception counter asked me for my ID (a repeat prescription). It was a nice day and I was in a good mood so with a grin as broad as can be and in an exaggerated big and bold voice I said “What? ID? Surely my word should be enough?” Now I said this even as I searched visibly in my back pocket for my passport. The woman looked at me with a look of derision and scorn. “ID is required,” she says.

“Yes, I am looking for it,” says I puzzled.

The look on her face says it all.

“You do know I’m Joking with you right?” says I.

The look says all I need to know.

So now, every time I go to the medical center, it is a frosty reception I encounter and I can almost hear the staff saying “Watch out for that one, he is trouble.”

Perhaps I am, but at least I do have a sense of humor.


Wacky Thought for the Day

Imagine if wars were fought with love. Bombs of pure loving were dropped on your enemies and bullets of appreciation fired in love as opposed to anger. Imagine if every word you spoke and every thought you thought was motivated by love. Imagine an army of love on the move to liberate the poor, the distressed, the despised and the self-haters.

Yes – it is a strange thought, but it makes you wonder how different a world we would live in if love was the primary motivating emotion.


There Are Days….

There are days when you wonder.

I was up early this morning. I had a good work plan all determined and the sky was an azure blue hangover from yesterday…. it always makes me feel better somehow to see a blue sky.

Then. The first phone appointment doesn’t show but an unexpected Skype call from a friend/colleague results in a 40 minute conversation about, well, nothing really… It was just a nice chit chat. Immediately after, the phone rings and puzzled I pick it up. It is my doctor chasing me to have an extended blood pressure monitoring test. I had said I would but then never made the appointment and she is concerned that I am avoiding it and if I do have high blood pressure we should know. I suspect that I do so in the end I agree and that means calling to make an appointment. Anywhere else, that would probably be a 30 second call but not here. It takes 15 minutes before I am successful as the my Czech and her English isn’t as good as either of us would like.

A quick glance at the clock and somehow it is now noon. I make some lunch by heating up yesterdays dinner leftovers and the phone rings again. Its DHL and they are about to make a delivery so am I in? Yes, I say and head to the doorstep where I am presented with the long lost book I ordered in January. This is the replacement and once again, I wonder about Amazon’s customer service – amazing that it took 3-business days from call to complain to delivery of new book in Brno shipped from the US. I call that customer service… amazing customer service in fact.

A glance at the clock and it is 12:40 and I haven’t done a bloody thing! It is turning out to be one of them days….. my plan is in tatters!

Now, me being me, I have to wonder if deep down inside I am simply avoiding work? I mean, if I create my own reality, then I am doing one hell of a job at distracting myself. Oh, I still have to meditate too – better do that now I suppose…..


Do You want Eve’s Apple?

Imagine if you where really all powerful, ever present and totally aware. Would you do anything at all? I mean, imagine knowing that the words you used could drive another person over the edge or that the journey you are about to take will result in the death of another person? If we had the awareness of a God we might actually never do anything simply because we would know that any action, any word, any thought has consequences. Would you want to be responsible for the consequences of your actions?

If you understand that thought and the terrible situation you would be in, then it begs the question, how confident everyone must be to be running around, interacting, arguing, fighting, spouting opinions and so on. Of course, we are not brave but stupid, for we have no idea, no inking ,of the outcome of the deeds we do, the thoughts we have and the words we speak or write. We are chaos. We live in chaos and yet we seek peace.

Enlightenment. Does that bring peace? Perhaps it brings a knowing, an understanding of our place in life and the Universe and a sense of what our obligations are – how far we can be expected to know and to anticipate and to be responsible for ourselves.

I am sure many reading this are wondering what drugs I am smoking. But we are really are foolhardy creatures to believe that we know what we are doing. Actually, we haven’t a clue. We are programmed from birth and by our culture and society to behave in certain ways. We are born and we die not knowing who we truly are nor why we are here. Given that, how could we possibly ever understand the consequences of our action, words and thoughts?

And yet, I want to know knowing the more that I know, the more personal responsibility I adopt.

Imagine that. By asking the questions, we become aware and in becoming aware, we become responsible. It is a bit like eating the fruit from the Tree in the Garden of Eden – and then being booted out. One wonders if, my inner self-/subconscious self (Eve) constantly offers the fruit of knowing to my outer self/conscious self (Adam) and the end result of the decision as to whether to eat it is to be cast out of Eden – a state of not knowing and no responsibility – into a world of sin and knowledge of our actions, words and thoughts.

That is food for thought….


The Human Condition

When I think of all the pain
That man has ever borne
Billions of tearful dreary lives
The sadness carried by humanity
Through the mists of time
Man has toiled to live
A cruel world to conquer
Filled with cruel men
Destined to wander
In search of something more
The suffering of the afflicted
The torment of the damned
The agony of endless wars
Life’s pain is our biggest chore
And cumulatively, the tears
Shed my mankind would fill an ocean
A deep and salty sea of humanity
A primordial soup of bitterness
An endless sea of agony
The hatred, the anger, pure bile
Bitterness and jealousy
The human condition
An endless competition
Of cruel insanity
And this pain that we all share
That we present to each other
The torment we give out
And violence we spout
It’s our own imbalance
A hatred of ourselves
If we could just learn
There is only you
Just an inner turmoil
That needs to find its peace
Seven centers seeking harmony
Imagine – no pain or suffering
Plumbing your inner depths
And knowing all is as it should be
You are how you are meant to be
You are Divinity
You are pure light
We are one and all the pain is needless
In the end we hurt ourselves
It’s a psychosis
The human condition