The Lost & The Damned

A great little article…

The Life & Times of Mr Jarred Triskelion

Do you have phrases or expressions which are always at the forefront of your mind? They might be a popular saying, a line from a film or the chorus of a song. You might keep them contained within your mind. Alternatively you might allow them to slip frequently into your speech like sitcom catchphrases. A writer tends to have more than their fair share of these. They are, after all, their stock-in-trade. Crowley would refer to the future, on occasion, as being a “strange and terrible new aeon.” For my own part there are Nietzsche quotes, lines from Paradise Lost and my observations that “magick is not something you do, it is something you are” & “science can no more prove the existence of magick than magick can prove the existence of science”.  Above all of these, however, are five words which have haunted my mind since childhood: “the lost &…

View original post 894 more words

I Hated School

There is a lot of talk these days about bullying at school. I just, for example, read a story in my local paper about an actress from Beverley who recounts her experiences of bullying. Was anyone not bullied at school?

Looking back, I recall the cruelty of other kids too. We moved from west Hull to Willerby – a far posher place, when I was 9 or 10 and feelt very out of place. I was different too. I wore my heart on my sleeve, I was interested in ghosts, occultism, spirituality and uninterested in sports. I loved music (still do) and followed T.Rex long after that was considered cool. I self taught to play guitar and was always in a band of some sort. Somehow this combination attracted the derision of a certain element of my fellow pupils. It was sort of psychological warfare really.

There were of course those few times when I was physically attacked. Usually at the school gates where a knowing crowd would have accumulated to watch Vasey get it. I recall the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I sensed that crowd was there to watch me get beaten. I never hit back. I just took it and left. What was the point and what did it prove? Nothing.

Looking back, it seems to me that other kids detested my joy of life. They found my innocence and interest in things somehow challenging. However, I don’t want to make out that I was consistently bullied. I wasn’t. I know others that were. Just, I experienced how cruel kids can be. Now I understand, it was jealousy and fear that provoked these reactions. Make fun of something you fear and get even with someone who seems to have something you want.

I didn’t enjoy my school years. I was pleased to get away at 18 and go to College where I could make a new start free of the prejudices and history that clouded my school days. I never looked back once I escaped and I often wonder who I would have turned out to be had I stayed in the area surrounded by that prejudice and negativity? These are energies that have an impact.

The funny thing is that those prejudices were not limited to my fellow pupils but actually included one or two teachers. As long as I live, I will never forget the laughter of my ex-Chemistry master when I told him I had gained a first class honours degree. I was visiting the school to see my old geology master and let him know that I had succeeded largely thanks to his love of Geology and infectious teaching abilities. I remember how the Chemistry teacher’s laughter faded slowly away to be replaced by reddened cheeks as he realized I was serious. He made a quick exit, but with teachers like that, no wonder kids sometimes cannot succeed.

I suppose though, looking back, that I should thank those other kids that thought me odd and baited me about it. In the end, I found a self confidence inside of myself that in part, was a reaction to their psychological belittling and fun making. I saw it for what it was and I used it as fuel for personal growth.

Often when talking to friends they say they wish that they could go back in time to their school days when they were happy. I shudder and I tell them you can keep your school days. I hated that time of my life. I am happy in the here and now and this is where I want to and should be. Right here, where I am because all is as it should be.



Me – in the school play….. circa 1973?

Humanity’s Death Wish

Humanity seems to have a death wish. Not a day goes by without reading someone’s idea that the world is about to end, Jesus is coming back, revelation is about to happen, the planets are all aligned and so on. Even some people that I respect in magical circles seem to be looking for some kind of end. Why?

We do not seem able to learn the most basic of lessons as a species. Throughout known history, people have looked to end times and seen signs and portents of doom all around them. It never happened and yet people keep on keeping on seeing signs and looking for signs of the end times. Sorry, I do not get it. Why? Don’t we ever learn?

These days, there are entire websites and FB groups on the topic of the end times. It comes in many flavors from WW3 and nuclear annihilation to a more gentle spread of some new consciousness that will raise the planet into a new dimension.  Again, I don’t get it.

Change is constant. Without change, the world would stagnate and it would indeed end but it doesn’t. It continues to change. Empires and nations rise and fall, the center of power moves geographically, culturally and socially, wars start and finish. The only thing that is constant about our world is change.

While people continually seek signs and portents of the end times, there are a few who would even work towards making it happen. That is dangerous. They work in Government or they work at a local level and we have seen the results of the mayhem these people can create – mass suicides, mass deaths, people giving their entire worldy possessions away and much more. The world is just a reflection of ourselves. Seeking the end times is like a death wish coming from our soul. It is a sickness and an obsession that originates in a lack of self-love and self-worth.

If you want to look for portents and signs, I will tell you where to look. Inside of your self. Take the time to meditate and look deep.  The changes that you look for in the external world have to happen inside of you first. This is why hearing people in the magical community jump on the end times are nigh bandwagon is so deeply disturbing. Surely, they should know this? Or maybe it is just me. Maybe I am the insane one here, that sees how change is constant and that I must look inwards and change me in order to change the world?



Allergic to Beer?

Woe is me!

I am forced to conclude that I am allergic to something in beer. I love beer, especially Czech beer, but it hates me.

Last night, I had four glasses of beer with a friend. This morning, I am dizzy, throbbing headache, my right eye is swollen up and my sinuses too and I have a sore throat on that side too. In short, I feel pretty crappy to say the least. I have been getting this sort of reaction to most beers this last few years but this time is the worst. If I drink wine, whiskey or anything else, I am fine so it really is beer.

My father suffered the same fate. The older he got the more beer seemed to dislike him. A pint of Fosters Lager was about all he could manage in the end without a similar sort of reaction.

So I am afraid that I must now stop drinking beer. Aging is such an insult.