Holiday Characters

There is something about people watching on vacation isn’t there?

I just managed about 10-days of it on Kos and I was once again astounded at the range of characters included under the heading human race. Since we were at an all inclusive resort, the place to begin is with trough behaviour. While I will admit to some over eating myself, it is inevitable I suspect, I saw some absolutely amazing behaviour when it came to food, drinks and places to eat or drink. It wasn’t so much the plates piled like Mount Everest but the jockeying for position in order to be first to get the just put out melon, ice cream or coffee. Elbowing, shoving and other obnoxious forms of behaviour were on full display.

By the pool was also fun. There was a family next to us one day that hailed from the south of England. She was an over weight thing wrapped up in a hideous cotton wrap around her one piece swimming costume who seemed to delight in calling her young kids darlings at the top of her voice as if in doing so, we would all look on and admire her progeny. Her husband looked exactly how I admire a banker to look. Somehow sophisticated but slightly overweight as a result of great lunches and too many gin and tonics. He had what seemed to be a DA hair style and once free of kids and wife, he lay on the sun bed like a pro. He seemed to follow a pattern like a clockwork banker. He would open his eyes and peer at his toes rubbing one foot against the other. Then, he would carefully push his hair back into its DA a few times before rubbing his (hairy) chest. It was at this point that he would squint sideways to take in his neighbours on display breasts before leaning head back, closing his eyes and beginning the sequence all over again. I suspect, it was all about getting a surreptitious eyeful of bare breast. Totally unnecessary as he could of just stared like the Russian men.

There was also a German who made me laugh quite a lot. Whatever he did he did it in a short burst and then looked at his wife smiling seeking approval. His wife ignored him the entire time sitting in the shade doing a crossword. The man had a smile on his face the entire time and spent his day either throwing his kids about in the pool, racing them across the pool or snapping shots with a huge camera with an even bigger lens attached. Everything he did he checked with his wife. She never looked up nor gave him any attention whatsoever. Poor guy seemed genuinely a nice bloke to be honest.

The Russians were interesting too. They came in all shapes and sizes from the one muscular chappie who looked like he competed for Mr. Universe and who had a super tan as well but, to his credit, he was only interested in playing with his small child who he obviously adored, to the strange looking people that were either massively over weight, looked totally under nourished or, in some instance, a bit of both! They seemed to have no manners at all in the main and on at least one occasion, I was shoved and man handled out of their way in order to get to the bar/food/toilet without so much as an excuse me or apology.

The highlight for me were the Dutch. Well organized people the Dutch. Their kid’s club had at least 3 times the number of people working for it and three times the number of kids. Their activities were imaginative and I will bet a lot of fun and it put the meagre offerings for Czech, British and other kids squarely in the spotlight as having failed. What I want to know is how all Dutch peoples kids seem to be blond and how given their fair skins, they all tan so well?

Finally, I must mention the Brits. In this instance, mainly Scottish and based on accent, I would say Glasgow. The men would sit in the shade by the bar drinking beers and chasers while laughing and joking unintelligibly while their kids played havoc in the pool and the women were nowhere to be seen. I heard one father tell his unruly kids about the life guard – “ah shit, ignore the bastard, what the hell can he do, throw us out?”

Now what all of these people made of the tall British guy with a big belly that seemed at times grumpy and other times lazy with his significantly younger and attractive partner and young golden haired daughter I don’t know but I am sure some people found me pretty weird too.

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