Just Today

Have you ever wondered if today is, in fact, the only day of your ‘life’?

Ever since I was a young child, I have puzzled over reality. As I have mentioned many times, in Inner Journeys, I talk about how as a young boy, I really felt like this wasn’t real and that I was in a booth somewhere looking through some glasses and experiencing life as a ‘virtual reality’ game. Back then there was no virtual reality of course. Later, at school, I couldn’t quite understand how I could be just a bunch of atoms floating around in space! What kept me together? How did I know which atoms where mine? and many many other questions. Other kids thought I was a bit weird. Probably they were right.

virtual world

I often ponder over the thought what if today is the only day I actually experience this reality? I wake up, live through the day and then go to sleep and that is the end of my virtual reality game. Memories? Pre-programmed of course. Everything I thought that I ever did, anyone I thought I had ever know, everything just a programmed set of unreal memories to give context to that one day! Imagine it. Your one day of life here….

vr

And when you do imagine that, there grows within you the idea that today then must be special. I must do something, achieve something beyond the norms of my programmed memories because this is my only chance. I must make today truly special.

Its a bit like the movie Groundhog Day except I live my day just once so killing myself to see if I wake up again at the same place probably isn’t on the agenda.

Imagine it. If this was the one day of reality that you could participate in. What would you do? How would you leave your mark?

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The Self Doubts of the Self Employed

Sometimes, despite my best intentions, I get down in the dumps…. I think today I am shall we say, browned off. Trying to build a small business isn’t easy and I think the realization of the downside of building a business is now beginning to sink in. Firstly, people don’t have time or money and then when you actually do get a consulting gig or a client, they take simply ages to pay your invoice. Plus, right now is slap bang in the middle of the holiday season too (and the fact I should actually be on a beach today doesn’t actually help either).

orangeline

So I am sat at my PC thinking. Who can I talk to? Who might buy what we are offering? Sending out emails and receiving mostly negative replies. Not much fun really.

At times like this in the past I have cheated a bit. Yes, I have used a little bit of magic and maybe I need to do that again. No – no sacrifices or blood letting or anything sinister like that, just a bit of imaginative meditation. Imagining being and feeling successful. Seeing a healthy bank balance and knowing our needs are taken care of. It does seem to work actually!

You start to sweat actually thinking what happens if the money doesn’t come in or if no customers appear. What will happen? After all, there is no regular job to fall back on and, even if I started looking now, it could be weeks or even months before I found one. I am therefore committed. Fully committed to being a success. It will just have to pay off. Time to put away the self doubts and get focused again…..

doubt