Hi our Prezza! How the hell are you? Had enough vacations on my tax dollar, thrown enough star studded parties yet to actually DO something – anything? Or still pinning the blame for everything (like all of your loathsome kind) on your predecessor. Yes, I’m sorry, I don’t care much for politicians of any party or persuasion.

Actually, to tell you the truth, what I want to ask you about is rather selfish of me but here goes….

When I became a US citizen, I was quite proud, especially when the examiner at the joke of a test that passes for a citizenship examination told me “Congrats, you got all the answers correct, most Americans couldn’t do that!”

“Really?” I asked, “How many would they get right then?”

“Three or four out of ten if you are lucky,” says she…..

map-of-the-world-according-to-americans

So, I digress, apologies.

Everything was OK until I decided to move back to Europe. It was only then my problems started. See, I know that you with your millions of dollars in income only pay what – 19% taxes?, well, I with my low six figure dollar salary pay something like 28%. Guess I am the rich you want to squeeze except? I mean that’s fine, if I am sat in the US actually using the place but when I am here – in Europe – for 7-years, it gets a bit tiresome to pay you taxes so you can get elected again promising free phones on my hard earned dollar.

Ok – yes, you are right. I don’t pay all of my taxes to the US. I pay my Czech taxes first and then we take what I would owe in the USA, subtract the Czech taxes (more or less), and what is left I pay the IRS. Fortunately there is a tax treaty in place. But I still have to file a 60+ page tax return and that costs me a bunch of cash too in fees every year.

To be honest, I don’t mind paying the taxes for nothing in return. It’s just that as far as you are concerned all overseas Americans are crooks. Yes, we are viewed as criminals. That’s why we have to also produce an annual report listing all of our overseas bank accounts and balances and submit that as well right? That’s why my Czech bank has to report to the IRS as well right? You want COMPLETE visibility into my finances just so you can be absolutely sure I’m not cheating.

criminals

But, Mr. Prezza, this causes me some issues. Most banks here won’t accept US citizens as customers because they don’t want to have the expense and burden of reporting stuff to you all of the time. So, its kind of tough to find a bank to deal with…

Oh, I could use my US bank you say!

Yes, well, since I have no US residence, I don’t have an address there do I? You know what that means right? Yep – no US bank account for little ol’ me…. can’t have one without a US residential address.

Its OK Mr Prezza, I think its great I can’t open a bank account anywhere as it means I can keep all my cash as cash. That way, when you and your government decide to make a grab for more of my money, you won’t be able to get it.

But wait, without a bank account, how do I pay my taxes…….?

While this is a tongue in cheek article let me tell you all, the US government is making life for US citizens overseas almost impossible and demanding more and more visibility into our private affairs. I for one have had enough so I am looking at dumping that citizenship….

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Oh wait, to do that I have now to pretend to sell everything I have, pay capital gains taxes on everything, and only then I am free…. Think that through people……Nice.

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